Ya take the good, ya take the bad....

Day 15

Ya take them both and there ya have....the facts of life. The facts for today are as follows:

Papa is easily ten times more at ease without the breathing tube in his throat.

Papa is as tender as can be when he mouths "I love you" to Mama.

He had a successful T.E.E. (if you don't know what that is look in the last post for "T.E.E.", click on it, and it will take you to a site that explains it) which revealed that his heart is bacteria free and damage free!!!!!! 

The T.E.E. was actually semi successful, because on the way out they pulled his feeding tube out of his stomach and into his mouth, which luckily was remedied tonight. 

Papa is tired, but doing alright.

It seems as if every day has some crazy ups and downs, but we still return to the hotel room every night with high hopes for tomorrow. Pray for Papa to sleep, he has had some trouble with that.

Thanks again for your prayers and support. We could not do this without you all! 

Com amor,

The Baers

PS, be sure that when you read these posts, to roll your mouse over some of the medical terminology. I will try and attach links to them so you know what we are talking about. Also, when I quote a talk I will usually try to attach the link. So, yeah. There ya have it.

P.P.S. We want to especially thank our wonderful friends who have been providing meals for us. They are truly wonderful and a much needed blessing. You are all so fantastic!

A flashback to last year's Halloween. Love you Dev, Britt and Bridge!

Just one of "those" days...

Day 14

Yep, it was one of "those" days. Papa sure loves to keep us on our toes, as he did this morning when we arrived at the hospital [not so] bright and early. Papa has this breathing tube that he hates, and when we arrived we found out that he'd had enough and yanked that sucker out, which caused a whole lot of other issues.

He did progress through the day, got a new breathing tube...again...he had an MRI which revealed that there hasn't been anymore damage to his brain, and he got his tracheostomy. He already looks SO much better. 

Tomorrow, if all goes well he will get a heart scan called a T.E.E. which will let us see how that original vegetation of bacteria on his heart is, and if his heart is in good condition with all that has happened.

We are grateful for another day with Papa, and that we really are together for ever, for always and no matter what!

xoxoxox

The Baers

For ever, For always, No matter what

I love how much they love each other.

Bonus!

My aunt Aileen, my Dad's sister, sent us this picture of him, Kelsey and cousin Abby at the BYU/Notre Dame game last year! 

"We cannot always see the end from the beginning. We trust in the Lord and wait upon Him, knowing that in His own time and His own way, He will bring about His miracles."

Day 13

That quote is from a talk by Elder Anderson. 

Wow, what a weekend. It was not short of many ups and downs, thus resulting in lack of update posts, to which we can only apologize and know that you're understanding. 

Today, Sunday, Papa is well. He has a new breathing tube, having worn through the first, he is alert and communicative, which is such a blessing. In short, the past couple of days have been extremely trying on us. They give Papa a medicine in the morning that will make him extremely aware and awake. (BTW, It is called 'ProVigil' - it should be for our mom, instead.  She is a Pro at keeping a Vigilant watch over Papa.) It is a double-edged sword medicine because as he increasingly becomes more alert, he is more aware of his pain and discomfort, and he becomes anxious.

The hardest part is just that, SEEING his discomfort. The best we can do is talk him through the seconds of pain, massage his hands and feet with Bath & Body Works Fresh Picked Tangerine hand and body cream, and pray that he remains stable. 

I have mentioned before the "vegas nerve".When Papa coughs, he tenses up, holds his breath, and if he holds it long enough, this nerve is triggered and he flat lines. Not fair at all, I know. Which is why every time he starts coughing we try our best to talk him through it, try to keep him calm and breathing, all the while being completely fixated on the monitors to watch his heart rate. When he flat lines, we say, "He vegaled" or "He went to Vegas". It is easier to say than the real words.

Yesterday, he vegaled. As hard as his vegals have been, he always chooses to come back quickly. We know of his love for us because of the fight he puts up to stay with us. And we are grateful, we love our Papa. The vegal wasn't the only incredible thing that happened yesterday, soon after, his physical therapy team came in. We sat out in the lobby so they could have their time, but when we returned, his nurse said, "He stood up for two seconds!!!" Papa stood up for the first time yesterday! It was a miracle. It took 4 people to help and it wore him out, but he did it. 

As for upcoming procedures, tomorrow will be a big day. He has his brain MRI in the morning, which will tell us a lot about his strokes and other things in his brain. He will also have his tracheostomy, which will be quite the procedure. It should make him more comfortable and more able to communicate. We pray that all will go well.

Thank you for your support,

we love you,

The Baers

A Memory Not so Long Ago by Britt

Two weeks ago, before this horrible nightmare, we were able to spend some sweet hours with our dear sweet Dad. Mike is my father-in-law, but he has been a Dad to me.

Dev, Bridger, and I, picked up Mike and Lori and headed over Suncrest for a fun night in Salt Lake. I still remember the beautiful colors of the sky and fall leaves as we chatted and laughed over that steep windy road. We spent the evening at City Creek walking around, looking for fishies for Bridge to see, window shopping, and  we even attempted to get into Cheesecake Factory for dinner, which is pretty much impossible on a Friday night. We ended up eating at the food court and watching Bridge play at the kids play place. Kids change EVERYTHING!

Red-cheeked, Bridger would run by and hi-five us all before he climbed through the sea of kids onto the next object. He was in heaven! I remember it all so clearly. Mike and I decided to walk over to Cheesecake Factory to get a couple of cheesecakes to-go. As we were walking back, I asked Mike if his back was bugging him because he was walking with the tiniest limp. He said his lower right back was bugging a bit and that he planned on asking the neurologist when he went to his appointment in 3 weeks. He quickly changed the subject and asked how I was doing. Isn't that SO Mike Baer?

As we were leaving, we walked by the beautiful fountains and Bridger of course, was drawn to them. There was an older man standing there by the fountain who told us to stick around for 15 more minutes as there would be a water show with fire. EXCITING, right?  No matter the temperature or time of night, we had to stick around to see this! We took turns taking Bridger up and down the escalator to kill time until the show began.

The water/fire show was beautiful. As we ooed and awed, shivered, and enjoyed that moment together, Mike said something I'll never forget. He said, " This is going to be one of those nights we'll always remember." How right he was.

A few days later, he was in the ICU and life as we all knew it, changed.

No matter what happens, Mike should be at peace with the kind of husband, father, and friend he was before all of this happened. He always told his family he loved them, always gave hugs, and always knew where each member of his family was emotionally, spiritually, and physically because he cared enough to ask the questions.

 He is our Dad. The husband to our wonderfully strong Momma Baer. The father of our family. We miss him. But we have him! We are so hopeful and we are learning to be so patient.




Last night we took some pictures to the hospital to hang up in the room. I held this one up close to Mikes face and asked him if he could see it. He gently nodded "yes".  Devin asked him if he remembered when this was taken, again he nodded, "yes". These are good signs! Bridger has come to visit Grandpa twice. Last night, as we were going to bed, I asked Bridger if we should say a prayer. He said, "Yes, a prayer for Grandpa." He loves his Grandma and Grandpa.

Thanks for all of your love, support, and prayers for our family. I don't think Lori, Aubs,  Kels, Dev, and I COMBINED could get our hands on enough thank-you cards for all the acts of kindness you have shown to our family.

Love to all,
Brittni

Those blasted hiccups.

Day 10

That's right, Papa Baer had hiccups today. Ya know, on a good day hiccups are annoying, but hiccups in the hospital are just beastly. 

The doctors decided to give Papa some medicine which would make him more alert and aware, which it did...for better AND for worse. Him being more alert lets him communicate more with us, but it also heightens his awareness of his pain, poor guy. So this day had may ups and downs, even though nothing seriously traumatic happened. 

All that we ask for are some prayers for no further hiccups, both literally and figuratively, and that the pain he does feel may subside. 

Also, I read something today that really calmed my soul. Please take the time to read it. (click on the word "something")

Love you all,

The Baers

Guest Post by Sorella Kelsey Baer

Guest Post by Sorella Kelsey Baer

Those sweet and precious words are the very words Papa Baer used to end each of his mission journal entries and each of his letters to me while I've been serving.

AND HOW TRUE THOSE WORDS ARE.

As I remember just how much I love the Savior, I'm endowed with power and reminded that I can do this. That the Lord has saved us for this time to be valiant, brave, faithful and optimistic. That the Lord doesn't give us any trial that we can't handle. Oh how sweet the joy the sentence gives-- I KNOW that my Redeemer lives.

This knowledge has been carrying me, literally carrying me this week. After receiving a call from my mission president last wednesday that my father was in the hospital, critically ill, I reflected on lots of things.

The reasons why I'm serving my mission:

-because the Lord asked me to, and I desire to be obedient.

-because I desire that others may taste of the sweetness of the gospel and have this incredible knowledge that I've been so fortunate to have.

-because the blessings assured to missionary's families are too magnificent to pass up. This is also what keeps me on my mission: because I have faith that the Lord will bless and take care of my family as I do my best out here to faithfully serve Him and submit to His will.

The things that matter most:

-the Restored Gospel of Jesus Christ and our personal testimonies and conversions of it.

-family. and our relationships with others.

-and... basta.

Just how infinite the Atonement of Jesus Christ is:

-it not only fully redeems us from our weaknesses and sins, but also,

-it enables us to become the disciples of Him, He desires us to become. Yes, the Atonement of Jesus Christ can even beautifully help a sorella missionaria serving in Como to feel peace amid difficulty; to not only function, but to be effective and positive. The strength and comfort that I've been blessed with, I KNOW, is not my own. It's because of the grace of the Savior, Jesus Christ, and His PERFECT Atonement, that I'm sustained, carried and strengthened. Obviously, I'm having a tough time. But as we're thrown into the Refiner Fire's we realize just how dependent we are on Him. Thus, we lean on Him so much more, and we are bettered because of it. He refines us. I know that Christ is molding me into the missionary, daughter, sibling, friend, future wife and mother, and disciple that He wants me to become.

I am filled with peace, gratitude, hope and love in these days. I can sincerely that this is the hardest thing that I've ever had to deal with, but our sweet Savior is taking such good care of His sorella. My contentment and my peace rests on my testimony that He lives. that because He suffered individually, for each of us, He knows EXACTLY how to succor us.

Como is beautiful. I'm exactly where I need to be. Although, I still don't understand perfectly why it is His will and plan that I needed to be here, so far from those I love the most, during this time of difficulty, but I trust Him entirely, with everything. The Lord's blessed to feel at home here. During stake conference on Sunday, I was looking around the congregation of all of these dear Italians who have all stolen my heart, I felt like I was surrounded by my family. The Lord knew that I needed to feel a sense of belonging and security, a sense of home-- and so as we stood and sang the intermediate hymn, this is exactly what I felt. It also helped that the woman sitting right in front of me looked just like my mama with her bang-a-rang hair, and about 10 rows up, I could've sworn that Mama Shannon Larsen was there. It was her TWIN. I feel so blessed to have the members, companion, investigators and friends here that I do. Perché il Signore mi conosce perfettamente, e Lui sempre mi benedice con le cose per cui ho bisogno.

The gospel is true. The book is blue. (and so is my blood, go cougs:)

Do Sorella Baer a fav, would ya, and pray for her family? She's doing ok, just send all of the prayers to her fam.

I love being a missionary. My mission is SO sacred and SO precious to me. I hold it dear to my heart as of great value.

again,

''I love the Lord and I'm gonna make it.''

(that's my official ''trial motto''- you can make it yours too:)

Con tutto del mio amore,

Sorella Baer

p.s. I love you.

p.s.s. my comp and I just realized... together... we're BROWN BAER! good times! here's a pic of us out our balcony about an hour ago:)

Count your blessings...

Day 9

We are so sorry that we weren't able to get an update out yesterday, but no news is good news right?

We do have some little updates, the latest blood cultures they did for E.Coli were NEGATIVE! Which is AWESOME news, and means that his blood isn't growing the bacteria anymore. But he'll still be on his antibiotics.

News that bugs, well he is still dependent on his ventilator. We need to get that sucka OUT! Please bless that Papa's lungs will work well enough to get him off of the ventilator. The problem is this one thing called the Vegas Nerve. I swear I am not making this up. When Papa coughs, the nerve is triggered which causes his heart rate to drop drastically and sets off a whole lot of alarms. Please pray that he will not "vegal" anymore. (that is a big reason why they can't take him off of the ventilator) 

Aside from that, he is opening eyes a bit more, cracking some sign language jokes, and even smiling VERY faintly. (we love that stuff) Also, today his nurse gave him a shave, but saved a very nice mustache. It's impressive really.

Thank you for your prayers,

and until tonight,

The Baers

Love from Papa:

Master of the house...

Day 8

So there is this alarm that goes off every now and then, which you can usually hear somwhere in the ICU at any given moment, that sounds like the beginning of the tune "Master of the House". When it goes off, my Mom usually starts to hum the rest of it. Adds a little sunshine to our day.

Today proved to be alright. We had a roughISH (emphasis on ish) morning, but Papa Baer seemed to sit well for the rest of the day. They had talked about maybe taking his breathing tube out, but Heavenly Father heard our repeated prayers of ,"...please no..." and it wasn't removed! So they switched the settings a bit so Papa had to do some work on his own, which he did the WHOLE day, until finally at ten they switched it back and let him rest. We left him sleeping soundly.

As I sit here, one week into this whole experience, I am thinking, "How in the world did we just do a week of this?" The ups and the downs have been extreme, it seems like almost every hour brings a new adventure, and yet, we made it through. 

We discussed this as a family last night, and honestly, it isn't that hard to figure out how we did it. Now sheer awesomeness is great and all, but I don't think that ANY of us had the capabilities to prepare us for what has happened, there is only one answer. The Atonement of Jesus Christ. (if you aren't too sure what that is, please click on those words and it will take you to a site that defines it for ya) There are two powers that come from the Atonement, the redeeming power, which saves us from sin, and the enabling power, which is does just that, ENABLES US. 

I have felt that power throughout my life, and I KNOW that it is real. There are times when the future looks bleak, or impossible, but, somehow, I am able to go forward, shaky step by shaky step and complete the task. That is how it was this week for all of us. The enabling power of the Atonement propelled us forward, not just day by day, but hour by hour, minute by minute, and sometimes second by second. It has been a constant force for good in our lives. It makes the harder times a little more bearable, it makes the sweeter times a little brighter, and it enhances our ability to feel and share love. 

I am grateful, SO grateful, for a family where our home has always been centered on Jesus Christ, so that when challenging times come I can come to know a little better what the Savior is for. He does save. 

Well, we are all off to bed tonight. I hope you all had a wonderful day, and wherever you are, say a little prayer thanking God for His many blessings that He has given you!

-The Baers

PS, it's always a party with the Baers

Do the daddy disco fingers

Day 7

While I understand that this blog is a week late, you have to realize that I have been therapeutically petting my cat, so obviously my hands were tied up and not able to type.

Well folks, after polling the family (namely Mom, Dev, Aubs and Britt) a resounding and unanimous "AYE!" was sent forth and the creation of this blog commenced. This for a few reasons, firstly, as we are able, we will post the updates on Papa Mike Baer as we receive them. Secondly,who doesn't love to blog. 

And now let us get to the point of this whole sucker, the update of the day. Right now, Papa Baer is stable. He has been through quite a bit over the past week and sure is tired, so we are lucky to get small hand squeezes, some lazy eyes, and a few subtle smiles. Papa Baer tries his very best to let us know that he is aware of EVERYTHING we are saying. If he hears music, he wiggles his toes or moves his legs. He likes to write what he is thinking on the palm of our hands, and as always, he loves having my sweet Mom at his side.

Today the most that we know is that he has a bacterial infection in his blood, the rascally devil being E. COLI. (what a jerk) The e. coli spread to his heart and proceeded to run rampant throughout his body. Certain organs have been damaged, but nothing a little faith and hope can't heal, he has suffered a few strokes, but nothing that Papa Baer won't try to combat. His heart is tired, but after all of those early morning walks at Burgess Park, is definitely still beating strong. 

Papa Baer, for today, is doing ok. It was a good day and there was a lot to be happy and hopeful for.

We just want to thank all of you for your love, your thoughts and your prayers. We made it a week guys, and that is thanks to all of you. 

And in the words of my Dad, in his mission journal I want to leave you with his catch phrase, "I love the Lord, and I'm gonna make it." That is how we feel, for better or for worse, we are gonna make it.

Also, FUN FACT, the title of this blog is our family motto. If ya ever come over we can show you the cute little plaque we had made. It's adorable. Thanks Mom. But yes, the title sums up our family story. 

Until tomorrow, and praying for a peaceful night's rest,

The Baers

Ps, check this baby out. I found it today when I was rummaging through some of my Dad's stuff! Winner....