5 days, 23 hours, 50ish minutes.
That is how long I must wait before I get to be sealed to the man of my dreams. For those of you not of our faith, the marriage ceremony is a little different than your typical civil nuptials. As a Latter-day Saint I believe that marriage between a man and a woman can last forever, and that is made possible through a sacred wedding ceremony that takes place in any of the LDS temples. The word sealing signifies a literal binding of husband and wife on Earth and in Heaven.
I don't just want to be married to my sweetheart, I want to be sealed to him.
As I have grown up, I have tried my hardest to live worthy of an amazing guy that I could one day call my own. I have seen heartache and heartbreak. I have done the whole "dating game" and I have done a few "dating hiatuses" too. All of these experiences, no matter how difficult at the time, are SO worth the joy and love that I feel being with Cam. I was telling my Mom just last night that I never knew I could love or be loved this much. I scored, BIGTIME.
My purpose in posting today is to let you in on the man to whom I am going to be sealed. I met Cam about a year ago through mutual mission friends. I never had the privilege of meeting him on the mission, though we did serve at the same time. As I got to know Mr. Smith, it was evident that he was definitely something special. He took me on a date soon after we met, and I can honestly say that though I was a big ball of awkward (having returned from my 18 month mission only weeks before) I felt inexplicably safe and comfortable when I was with him. I knew that I would be taken care of, I knew I could trust him, and I knew that he would make me happy.
I kept an eye on Cam for quite a while. He intrigued me. Cameron is quite reserved, so in group settings he didn't say too much. I realized that it wasn't because he was nervous or socially awkward, he would sit there, analyzing people. So of course I sat there analyzing him. (I am such a creeper sometimes) As I sat back and watched, I saw things that I liked. He was witty. He was DANG smart. He was thoughtful. He had nice shoes. (a necessary trait in my opinion) And the more I looked at him, the hotter he got. (and he was flippin handsome to begin with so I seriously had no other choice but to fall for him) I was hooked.
I was shown the full import of Mr. Smith's character the day my Dad went into the ICU. Cam arrived minutes after I did, and stayed by my side the entire night. My world was a haze that day, but I will always remember sitting on the little love seat in the waiting room, my head on a pillow in his lap, and him gently stroking my hair. My life changed in more ways than one that day, and realizing that Cam was who I wanted for eternity made it all worth it.
Cameron has stuck by my side during the toughest year of my life. He has seen my family in the worst of times. He has seen me at rock bottom, and yet, he stayed. Whenever I have gotten frantic, overwhelmed or just down in the dumps, he will put his hand on my chin, and make me look up into his loving eyes.
Look up. That is what Mr. Smith has taught me. When your world seems like it has crumbled, look up. There is so much good around you. When you find yourself weighed down by depression, fear or pain...look up. There is a silver lining. When you are terrified to move forward and all you can do is just stare at your feet hoping the world will just stand still for a minute...look up. The universe is bigger than you can imagine, and these seemingly gigantic leaps forward are in actuality small steps in the right direction. Look up.
I will always look up when I am with Cam, and not just cause he is a full foot taller than I am. He makes my world worth looking up for.
Love,
Aubs
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