"All is well, all is well..."

Day 17(ish)

I am sorry for the delay in posting this, please forgive me! 

We have fantastic news people. Papa has had a good three days. That means nothing serious or traumatic has happened in these past (almost) three days! WHAT A BLESSING! Thank you for your constant prayers.

Papa's last little mishap happened during physical therapy, when his cool hospital bed (which is the cadillac of hospital beds) was being maneuvered into a giant lazy boy recliner, and totally unplugged his ventilator. Yeah, I did about have a heart attack. Poor Dad knew what was going on, I could see he wasn't breathing, and the poor physical therapists had no clue. Luckily God knew that we needed some help and the respiratory specialist bolted into the room just in time! Whew...but yeah, like I said, that was a couple of days ago! We've been "freak-event" free! 

I would like to share with you an incredible music video. I went to see a concert by Vocal Point tonight, and this song is one that they performed. There are English and African lyrics, so listen to the English ones (unless you can understand the other stuff too, then good job!) and allow yourself to feel the peace that our family is feeling.

It is no secret that our family belongs to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. We are unique in many of our beliefs, and I know that many who read this blog do not belong to our same faith. One thing is similar for all of us though, during times of trial, we are all looking for a source of comfort, faith and hope. My family has found immense comfort, faith and hope in the deep-rooted belief system of our faith, and this song, a song about perseverance, was written by the early saints of the LDS church, as they migrated west to Utah.

The song is entitled "Come, Come Ye Saints", with the saints being the faithful members of the church. Often times we think of saints as those who hold or have held leadership roles in a particular religion, but we believe that anyone who is truly believing in God, and striving to follow His ways, is a saint.

The lyrics to this song are particularly meaninful to me, having been a source of comfort through out my life. This is my favorite LDS hymn, and it is my privilege to share it with you today. I know that my family isn't alone in our grieving, many have been affected by this great trial, but we would like you to know, that no matter who you are, where you are, or what you believe, there is hope. We can make it through this. This isn't the end. There is happiness at the end of the journey, no matter how long, or how rigorous. 

Pay attention, very close attention to how you FEEL during this video. THAT feeling is how we feel as family, on a daily basis. 

We love you all,

The Baers

BYU Vocal Point - Noyana/ Come Come Ye Saints

Ya take the good, ya take the bad....

Day 15

Ya take them both and there ya have....the facts of life. The facts for today are as follows:

Papa is easily ten times more at ease without the breathing tube in his throat.

Papa is as tender as can be when he mouths "I love you" to Mama.

He had a successful T.E.E. (if you don't know what that is look in the last post for "T.E.E.", click on it, and it will take you to a site that explains it) which revealed that his heart is bacteria free and damage free!!!!!! 

The T.E.E. was actually semi successful, because on the way out they pulled his feeding tube out of his stomach and into his mouth, which luckily was remedied tonight. 

Papa is tired, but doing alright.

It seems as if every day has some crazy ups and downs, but we still return to the hotel room every night with high hopes for tomorrow. Pray for Papa to sleep, he has had some trouble with that.

Thanks again for your prayers and support. We could not do this without you all! 

Com amor,

The Baers

PS, be sure that when you read these posts, to roll your mouse over some of the medical terminology. I will try and attach links to them so you know what we are talking about. Also, when I quote a talk I will usually try to attach the link. So, yeah. There ya have it.

P.P.S. We want to especially thank our wonderful friends who have been providing meals for us. They are truly wonderful and a much needed blessing. You are all so fantastic!

A flashback to last year's Halloween. Love you Dev, Britt and Bridge!

Just one of "those" days...

Day 14

Yep, it was one of "those" days. Papa sure loves to keep us on our toes, as he did this morning when we arrived at the hospital [not so] bright and early. Papa has this breathing tube that he hates, and when we arrived we found out that he'd had enough and yanked that sucker out, which caused a whole lot of other issues.

He did progress through the day, got a new breathing tube...again...he had an MRI which revealed that there hasn't been anymore damage to his brain, and he got his tracheostomy. He already looks SO much better. 

Tomorrow, if all goes well he will get a heart scan called a T.E.E. which will let us see how that original vegetation of bacteria on his heart is, and if his heart is in good condition with all that has happened.

We are grateful for another day with Papa, and that we really are together for ever, for always and no matter what!

xoxoxox

The Baers

For ever, For always, No matter what

I love how much they love each other.

Bonus!

My aunt Aileen, my Dad's sister, sent us this picture of him, Kelsey and cousin Abby at the BYU/Notre Dame game last year! 

"We cannot always see the end from the beginning. We trust in the Lord and wait upon Him, knowing that in His own time and His own way, He will bring about His miracles."

Day 13

That quote is from a talk by Elder Anderson. 

Wow, what a weekend. It was not short of many ups and downs, thus resulting in lack of update posts, to which we can only apologize and know that you're understanding. 

Today, Sunday, Papa is well. He has a new breathing tube, having worn through the first, he is alert and communicative, which is such a blessing. In short, the past couple of days have been extremely trying on us. They give Papa a medicine in the morning that will make him extremely aware and awake. (BTW, It is called 'ProVigil' - it should be for our mom, instead.  She is a Pro at keeping a Vigilant watch over Papa.) It is a double-edged sword medicine because as he increasingly becomes more alert, he is more aware of his pain and discomfort, and he becomes anxious.

The hardest part is just that, SEEING his discomfort. The best we can do is talk him through the seconds of pain, massage his hands and feet with Bath & Body Works Fresh Picked Tangerine hand and body cream, and pray that he remains stable. 

I have mentioned before the "vegas nerve".When Papa coughs, he tenses up, holds his breath, and if he holds it long enough, this nerve is triggered and he flat lines. Not fair at all, I know. Which is why every time he starts coughing we try our best to talk him through it, try to keep him calm and breathing, all the while being completely fixated on the monitors to watch his heart rate. When he flat lines, we say, "He vegaled" or "He went to Vegas". It is easier to say than the real words.

Yesterday, he vegaled. As hard as his vegals have been, he always chooses to come back quickly. We know of his love for us because of the fight he puts up to stay with us. And we are grateful, we love our Papa. The vegal wasn't the only incredible thing that happened yesterday, soon after, his physical therapy team came in. We sat out in the lobby so they could have their time, but when we returned, his nurse said, "He stood up for two seconds!!!" Papa stood up for the first time yesterday! It was a miracle. It took 4 people to help and it wore him out, but he did it. 

As for upcoming procedures, tomorrow will be a big day. He has his brain MRI in the morning, which will tell us a lot about his strokes and other things in his brain. He will also have his tracheostomy, which will be quite the procedure. It should make him more comfortable and more able to communicate. We pray that all will go well.

Thank you for your support,

we love you,

The Baers

A Memory Not so Long Ago by Britt

Two weeks ago, before this horrible nightmare, we were able to spend some sweet hours with our dear sweet Dad. Mike is my father-in-law, but he has been a Dad to me.

Dev, Bridger, and I, picked up Mike and Lori and headed over Suncrest for a fun night in Salt Lake. I still remember the beautiful colors of the sky and fall leaves as we chatted and laughed over that steep windy road. We spent the evening at City Creek walking around, looking for fishies for Bridge to see, window shopping, and  we even attempted to get into Cheesecake Factory for dinner, which is pretty much impossible on a Friday night. We ended up eating at the food court and watching Bridge play at the kids play place. Kids change EVERYTHING!

Red-cheeked, Bridger would run by and hi-five us all before he climbed through the sea of kids onto the next object. He was in heaven! I remember it all so clearly. Mike and I decided to walk over to Cheesecake Factory to get a couple of cheesecakes to-go. As we were walking back, I asked Mike if his back was bugging him because he was walking with the tiniest limp. He said his lower right back was bugging a bit and that he planned on asking the neurologist when he went to his appointment in 3 weeks. He quickly changed the subject and asked how I was doing. Isn't that SO Mike Baer?

As we were leaving, we walked by the beautiful fountains and Bridger of course, was drawn to them. There was an older man standing there by the fountain who told us to stick around for 15 more minutes as there would be a water show with fire. EXCITING, right?  No matter the temperature or time of night, we had to stick around to see this! We took turns taking Bridger up and down the escalator to kill time until the show began.

The water/fire show was beautiful. As we ooed and awed, shivered, and enjoyed that moment together, Mike said something I'll never forget. He said, " This is going to be one of those nights we'll always remember." How right he was.

A few days later, he was in the ICU and life as we all knew it, changed.

No matter what happens, Mike should be at peace with the kind of husband, father, and friend he was before all of this happened. He always told his family he loved them, always gave hugs, and always knew where each member of his family was emotionally, spiritually, and physically because he cared enough to ask the questions.

 He is our Dad. The husband to our wonderfully strong Momma Baer. The father of our family. We miss him. But we have him! We are so hopeful and we are learning to be so patient.




Last night we took some pictures to the hospital to hang up in the room. I held this one up close to Mikes face and asked him if he could see it. He gently nodded "yes".  Devin asked him if he remembered when this was taken, again he nodded, "yes". These are good signs! Bridger has come to visit Grandpa twice. Last night, as we were going to bed, I asked Bridger if we should say a prayer. He said, "Yes, a prayer for Grandpa." He loves his Grandma and Grandpa.

Thanks for all of your love, support, and prayers for our family. I don't think Lori, Aubs,  Kels, Dev, and I COMBINED could get our hands on enough thank-you cards for all the acts of kindness you have shown to our family.

Love to all,
Brittni