Balm for the Soul

During the Spring I've noticed that my lips become incredibly chapped. Seriously, they look like two scaly little lizards just chilling on my face! (bad visual, I know) I have been going through TONS of lip balm just trying to keep my little puckers moisturized. So lets talk about the word "balm".  We have heard of lip balm, hand balm, there's even balm for your feet. The intended use of balm is to heal or soothe skin. The feeling when you apply a much needed coat of chapstick to your dry lips is comparable to a cool glass of water on a blazing summer day.

Aside from my lips being chapped, I have noticed that the season or stage of the world we live in has been chapping my soul. I can't go anywhere without something depleting my soul's health in some way. Our souls start out being so sensitive, but over time, we stop trying to protect them and they become more calloused. We make excuses for not applying the correct protection each day.

I don't want a calloused soul.

What are the benefits of keeping our soul soft and healthy? Well first, we are more able to feel Heaven. On my mission I met some people who had never felt God. It was impossible trying to explain to them what He feels like, and the only way they could understand was if they had a personal experience. We invited them to do certain things that would give them the ability to feel Him. As people truly desired what we were describing, they did all that they could to feel it. When they felt it, their lives changed. The felt an immense peace, or balm, wash over their souls. They had greater hope for what was ahead, they had greater resolve to stand strong. They sensed a light directing them to what was good and right.

Another benefit of a healthy soul is that we have a heightened ability to deal with life's demands. Who doesn't want that? I know the difference when I have heaven help me. It doesn't mean that bad things don't happen to me, but I can support them and deal with them so much easier. I am a perfectionist and often times I feel so down hearted about not reaching my goals. When I become hard, I can't deal with these failures. When I am soft, I have hope that as I do what is necessary, I can try again and be successful.

What balm can I use to help my soul stay soft? In all honesty, the greatest relief I have ever felt comes from when I apply Jesus Christ to my soul. This weekend the whole world has the opportunity to use some of His balm in the LDS Church's General Conference. This conference is a time when the leaders of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints share with the world messages of faith, hope, peace and guidance. I promise that if you do your best to listen to even one talk, you will feel the relief I am talking about.

If you don't believe me, ask my parents how they have gotten through the past year and a half. This is real and it is powerful. Trust me!

Before I go, let me update you on the happenings with Papa Baer. Dad has been approved by our insurance company to have a fancy little breathing device in our home! This device sends warm, moist air through his oxygen hose so his lungs can get the moisture they need to behave better. When his lungs get too dry he coughs like crazy, even to the point where he coughs up blood. It's crummy. Aside from that, he has shown great progress over the past two weeks because his blood has been the desired "thinness". We had a couple of rough weeks where his blood was uber thin and he was bruising like crazy, but we finally got it under control! Still working on that swallow, building model cars, and he's even tried his hand at art! We are loving the progress he is making.

Have a wonderful week and a Happy Easter!

Aubs

Opposition

Everything has its opposite, and everything will have at least something opposing it. A few examples:

 Over the past couple of years at my old High School there have been a number of suicides.These tragic circumstances have affected student body past and present and we have joined together to try and lift and inspire those around us through a movement called #ichoosetostay. I was surprised at the opposition that came from this movement. Many people argued with those who posted a short testimony on why they would never give up. The opposed were saying that we were offending the families of those who were lost to suicide. Others commented that we should talk face to face with those suffering instead of hiding behind words posted into cyberspace. They called this movement a cowardly and lazy way to deal with such a heartbreaking reality. 

Another: 

As a student I have been privvy to some pretty wild arguments about this, that and the other. Today we see what was once deemed as good and wholesome as preachy and self-righteous. Those who stand for seemingly positive values are attacked and labeled as immoral and selfish. 

It has broken my heart to see some people suffer by trying to do the right thing. The movement #ichoosetostay was in no way trying to neglect or belittle families who have lost loved ones. Rather we hope that they can find peace from the words offered by someone who chooses life while their family is struggling with death. Someone who stands up for wholesome and traditional values is not trying to demean or devalue people who have different views, but those who retaliate so often try to shame the person for standing up for what they personally believe in. 

So what do we do? Can we end opposition? Sadly no. In the Book of Mormon (Verse 11 of the link) it says that there "must needs be opposition in all things." If there isn't happiness there isn't sadness. If there isn't light there can't be dark. By the same token however, if there isn't misery there isn't joy. If there isn't pain there isn't healing. We'd just...be. 

There will always be someone who opposes you and what you believe, say and do. Our best efforts are spent trying to do and say what Christ said and did. He knows perfectly well the loneliness that comes from being a light on a dark hill. In a document called The Living Christ it says that Christ "went about doing good, yet was despised for it." Being Christlike does make you vulnerable to worldy retaliation, but just remember, as Christ says"...In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world."

Christ has been through it so He knows how to get through it. 

Love y'all.

Aubs

A different kind of valentine.

"For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son."  (John 3:16)

There are a few verses in the scriptures that always make me feel surrounded by divine love. This type of love is unrequited, undying, and pure. This love endures despite my sin, my error and my imperfection. 

I hope that on this Valentine's Day, with all of the hearts and sparkles, all of the roses and chocolates, we can remember the ultimate Valentine. The gift of our Heavenly Father's Son. 

Let us all remember as well the love the Christ has for us:

 11 And he shall go forth, suffering pains and afflictions and temptations of every kind; and this that the word might be fulfilled which saith he will take upon him the pains and the sicknesses of his people.

 12 And he will take upon him death, that he may loose the bands of death which bind his people; and he will take upon him their infirmities, that his bowels may be filled with mercy, according to the flesh, that he may know according to the flesh how to succor his people according to their infirmities.

 13 Now the Spirit knoweth all things; nevertheless the Son of God suffereth according to the flesh that he might take upon him the sins of his people, that he might blot out their transgressions according to the power of his deliverance; and now behold, this is the testimony which is in me.

(Alma 7:11-13)

I love my Savior and I know He loves me. I feel His love every day and I know that He is anxious to bless all of us with that love. We just need to let Him in.

Happy Valentine's Day!

Aubs

"Esperar"

So quick update on Papa and the Baer world. As many of you know, Papa's strokes left the doctors identifying a multitude of possible physical disabilities that he might have to deal with. To name a few:

He'd never walk again. He'd never be off of a ventilator. Papa would never be able to speak again. Papa would not have much mental capability. His memory would be shot. Dad wouldn't be able to swallow. He would stop breathing as he slept. Etc. Etc. Etc. 

That seems like a whole lot...and it was a lot... here is the deal though. Dad walks. He only has a ventilator at night. Dad totally talks. Dad's mental state is in tact...he can think, problem solve, and complete tasks. He is thoughtful. His memory is most definitely NOT shot. His long term memory is better than most, his short term is improving each day. Dad's sleep apnea has improved dramatically. The only thing we really haven't seen improve is his swallow. This is called dysphagia. 

When Dad was still in the hospital he spent a lot of time trying to regain his swallow....but nada.  His swallow was one of the first things to go when this all started, and it is one of the last things to come back.

He hasn't received his swallow just yet, but folks, come on....my Dad is a walking, talking, breathing, thinking, loving miracle. Yes, experts say that after 6 months of losing a certain physical capability you'll never get it back....but those same experts also told our family that Dad would be a vegetable and I can promise he is most definitely NOT a vegetable. We believe, TRULY believe that through faith, God can heal Dad's swallow. Many people of our religion have come together in a joint effort of prayer that God might grant to us another miracle. We feel that He wants Dad to receive his swallow...we are confidant that this will happen.

In the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, we believe that God makes His will known to man in a variety of ways. One of these ways are through priesthood blessings, Priesthood blessings are a way for God's will to be made know to us personally. A special message from Father to child. Dad has gotten many of these since He has been sick, and he has been promised that through his faith and the faith of others that his swallow would be healed. 

So, here is the thing. Many of you that read these posts are not of our faith...but you don't have to be to talk to God. God loves all of His children, and He loves when His children talk to Him through prayer. So here is what we are asking: that we unite our faith, and pray to our Heavenly Father for another miracle. I have faith that He will answer our prayers...and I assure you when He does, we will all know without a single doubt that it was by the hand of God. 

So I speak Portuguese, a happy benefit of serving a church mission in Portugal for 18 months. There is a verb in Portuguese "Esperar" (eh-spurr-arh) which has three different meanings. The first is "to wait". The second, "to hope". And the third, "to expect". Totally weird, but I have always loved this verb. Aren't those three words synonymous? To wait, expect and hope for something. They are indeed interchangeable! This miracle with Dad's swallow will most definitely not come back in the time frame that WE want....rather it is when GOD wants...when He sees it of most benefit to His children. We must "esperar" in all meanings of that word. We must wait for it. We must hope for it. We must expect it. 

We are so humbled by the continued outpouring of love for our family. Not just the "Mike Baer Family", but all of our grandparents, uncles, aunts and cousins have too been the recipients of kindness and generosity during this time of hardship. Thank you so very much. We love you and are so grateful for your faithful friendship. 

Happy Sunday!

Aubs

Concerned for Christ

Papa is doing so well. :) It makes me incredibly happy to say that. He is healing a little more each day...and even though sometimes we have some health scares, they always seem to miraculously work themselves out. We use those opportunities to rally together as a family and support one another as we make our way through. 

That has got me thinking over the past couple of weeks...how when we have a common source of motivation our thoughts, ideas and behaviors change. We become better, more dedicated and hopeful. 

This past semester has been kinda tough on me, I've been taking on a lot and have felt quite stressed... I ventured onto Facebook the other day hoping to find a little day-brightening post. To say I was disappointed would be an understatement worthy of some Guinness world record. Nearly every other post was about some controversial hot topic and if that wasn't enough nearly all of these posts were accompanied by a barrage of opinions void of tact or politeness. I quickly exited out and found myself feeling a bit wounded. Even though I was not the subject of controversy nor was I actively engaging in a debate, I felt judged, attacked, frightened and my soul was sore. 

I pondered on this experience, and realized that somehow we have forgotten the "spirit" of the holidays. When I was younger I was always so excited for Fall. September with its changing leaves and the promise of a fresh new year of school where I could set and accomplish goals. October with all of its fun Halloween activities and the opportunity to wear a costume that I had been planning for nearly a year. November with Thanksgiving and the opportunity to introspect about how blessed I am. Then December, with Christmas and the opportunity to be better so I can please not only ol' St. Nick, but also the Reason for the holiday Himself.

I realized that I haven't felt that way about the holidays this year...and it kinda just broke my heart into a bunch of little pieces. I thought about Halloween and how such a fun holiday has turned into an excuse to dress trashy, to gross ourselves out, and to ultimately desensitize our tender spirits. I thought of Thanksgiving and how gratitude has turned to avarice...how family meals have been rescheduled to fit around stores opening earlier to satisfy their gluttonous "early birds". Then I thought of Christmas. I thought of my own experience this year, which I know is not unique to just me. I thought of how I really can just go out and buy whatever I want...and so there really isn't too much for me to ask for. Desire to be good turned to desire to get goods. I also thought of how even though Christmas is two weeks away, I am seeing less and less of Christ in this holiday.

I am concerned for Christ. In the Book of Mormon there is a scripture that reads"And we talk of Christ, we rejoice in Christ, we preach of Christ, we prophesy of Christ, and we write according to our prophecies, that our children may know to what source they may look for a remission of their sins."

This holiday, despite the efforts of some, quite frankly I am having a hard time seeing Christ in Christmas. We think not of Christ-we talk not nor rejoice in Him...I feel like He is being lost. I am guilty of this too. Do I post more about my amazingly awesome husband than I do about my precious Savior? Not saying that my husband isn't wonderful or that I should never talk about him...but what if I spent as much time thinking, talking, posting about the Savior as I do my marvelous and hunky spouse?

What would the world be like if we did that? What if we posted just as much if not MORE about the Savior than we do about funny animal videos, quotes from movies, or even our opinions on the nation's leading news stories? I think we would all be better because of it, more hopeful, more quick to forgive, more humble, more caring, more grateful...we'd be the best we can be.

So those are my thoughts. We need to look to the Savior more and implement Him more in society. I'd like to make a Christmas resolution. (different than  New Year's resolution because CHRIST is the motivation instead of the new year) I resolve to make Christ my focus. I resolve to think of Him when I am feeling lazy, discouraged and unmotivated. I resolve to post about Him more than I post about anything else. I resolve to be more like Him. And I resolve to share my witness of the miracles that come from living a Christ centered life.


Happy Holidays, and Merry CHRISTmas!

Love,
Aubs

Listen to *this* to bring a little Christmas cheer. :)

I know.

As I was sitting on the bus last week (yes it takes me about that long to put my jumble of thoughts into something understandable) I overheard a conversation. Before you start thinking that I am one of those bus creeps that just people watches you must realize that "purpose" is what sets me apart from them. I people watch to learn more about the people I am surrounded by...oh whatever moving on.

As I was sitting there innocently eavesdropping, I heard a conversation that went like this: "I still don't get it. If you believe in such a loving and merciful God, why in the world does He make you suffer so much?" 

(valid point my fellow bus rider)

The response: "I'm not sure...I just know that He does love all of His children and He wants us to be happy."

(another valid point)

I stopped listening after this little exchange. My mind shot off like a bullet train and when that happens there is not stopping it. 

How would I have responded if I was the other half of that conversation? Have I internalized an answer? Do I even have an answer? 

Yes, in fact, I do. 100%. 

I am only 25 years old, but I have seen quite a bit of opposition in my life already. I remember telling my Mom just this past year ,"I don't feel like there has ever just been peace in our lives...it feels like there has always been something big that we are going through."

Despite that fact, the fact that we as a family are constantly making our ways through a thick jungle of trials, each of us has no doubt as to whether God exists, that He loves us, and that He wants us to be happy. 

How is that possible? Well, in these short 25 years of my life I have learned that it isn't GOD who gives us these trials. Quite the bold statement but hear me out. It wasn't God that made me fall off the bunk bed and break my arm when I was three. It wasn't God who made the kids at my Junior High make fun of me for being LDS. It wasn't even God who gave my Dad all of his health problems... All of these things are just trials of mortality. They happen. They happen because we are mortal and prone to wander. 

How then does God fit into the equation? Just as any loving parent, God hurts when He sees His children struggle. He can't always take away the pain, because it is just something we need to pass through...but He has given us something to remedy all that is hurtful or unfair about this life. 

He gave us His own Son, Jesus Christ. 

Christ is the way that we can overcome. Christ doesn't take away the challenges in front of us, but He surely does help us bear them. Christ knows perfectly and infinitely what we are passing through. He knows and because He knows, He can help us through. 

I know this is true. I have seen too much and been rescued too many times to not know this truth. 

As I thought about these things, I happened upon a little video clip that perfectly sums up this message, 

Click *here*  (click on "Refiner's Fire)

So yeah, these are the little things that make their way through my mind whilst riding the bus. 

Update on Papa: He's doing well. He had some doctor's appointments during these past couple of weeks to determine his progress. Sometimes it's hard to go because we don't see the progress we hope for, but we are quick to remember that the fact that he can even go to these appointments is progress enough. :) He has been having some issues with his feeding tube, however. It is rubbing the skin on his stomach raw and is awfully painful. We are doing our best to figure out how to help him. 

We love you and are grateful for your continued support. 

Com amor,

Aubs

Happy Birthday Papa!

I. Am. Grateful.

It seems as if I am always contrasting things to what happened a year ago. I do this because I am always in awe of where we are now. 

Before continuing THIS post, please read *this* one. It is what was going on a year ago. 

Isn't that amazing? Papa was still on his ventilator. He had just walked for the first time. And as of a year ago tomorrow morning, he was back at the UVRMC to get a pacemaker. I can't believe that was a year ago. 

Last night we had a birthday dinner celebrating Dad and Britt's birthdays. As we sat waiting for our food, I looked around and took in the scene. We were all there. Dad and Mom. Dev, Britt, Bridger and Emeri. Cam and I. Kelsey. Kyler. It was amazing. Truly amazing.

I hope my Mom doesn't get mad at me for sharing this, but as my Dad read her birthday card, she said something that made me tear up a little. Essentially, she said that she was so very grateful for the extra time God had given her with my Dad. I think we all feel that way. A year ago we still had no clue what would happen. A year ago Dad's life still hung in the balance. 

What a blessing it is to celebrate my Dad's birthday with my Dad. He is doing so well. He had a few tests last week to evaluate a few of the things that happened because of his strokes. He is making great progress! Still has no swallow, which is a bummer. Other than that, we are taking things day by day. We have been able to start living again. I love that the Lord helps and heals us so that we can rise above our challenges. As I read in the Book of Mormon this morning, God helped me see a little more clearly just how much He loves me. He gave me His Son so that I can conquer all that is painful about this life. 

Alma 36: 17, 19-20, 27

 27 And I have been supported under trials and troubles of every kind, yea, and in all manner of afflictions; yea, God has delivered me from prison, and from bonds, and from death; yea, and I do put my trust in him, and he will still deliver me.

The Lord is good. :)

Com amor,

Aubs