Wanderings and Ponderings

Happy Sunday everyone! This post won't be too much about Papa, although he is doing better every day, showing signs of amazing progress, and always making us smile. We love him.

Tonight I thought I would share a little bit about some ponderings I have had whilst wandering through this life of mine. I work, I study, I buy groceries now and then...I make excellent use of the Taco Bell drive-thru. I visit with a lot of different people, in a lot of different places. On October 15, 2013 my life changed forever. My normally rote schedule was halted...and even the most mundane tasks turned into seemingly large acts of courage of heroism. And life continued that way for a long while. Even now, I sometimes find myself sheepishly shrinking away from those normal, every day things...because sometimes it is just a little too strenuous. 

This experience has also brought out the hallmark characteristics of a "white-type" personality (color code personality test) in me. I find myself trying to blend in with the wallpaper so I can avoid interaction with those out of my tight-knit circle of friends and loved ones. This anti-social camo I have put on has also allowed me an insane amount of time to think and people watch. At the beginning of all this, whenever I was in a group of people who didn't know me or the situation, I would often think, "How can they go on? My DAD, Papa Baer, is in the hospital fighting for his life!" or "How can they not KNOW".  With something so significant, how could everyone else not FEEL what I was feeling. Wasn't their world thrown off of it's orbit too?

After a few days of this, I had an "ah-ha" moment. How many other people are experiencing the same sort of thoughts and feelings? I wouldn't wish heartache on anyone, and I became very interested in who could be hurting. So, as I sat and analyzed, I was able to recognize those little outward characteristics that I show, in others. Understanding that other people were struggling with rocked worlds and what not softened me. Seeing other families in the ICU struggling to cope with their own life change gave me, and our family, an opportunity to turn outward. We understood, and so we acted.

I am so grateful for the opportunities presented to our family to give service amidst a trial so bittersweet.  To serve is one of the greatest privileges we have as people. There is no greater joy one can experience than to lift hands that hang low, or to turn a frown upside-down. 

I know that this is SO cliche, but honestly people, take it from a chick who knows. If you are looking for a sweet release from a bitter burden, look for others to serve. Service is a balm that can ease pain. 

Yeah so that about sums it up. :)

Have a nice evening!

Aubrey